Well, it was my first professional audition in five years. I almost vomitted on the bus ride to the theatre, envisioning tripping over my feet and landing directly on my face during my two minute movement piece. After timidly walking onstage, I decided to dance barefoot. The director asked if I was ready and all I did was give my customary thumbs up over the head, the music began...loudly.
I stopped shaking and just danced. Every pocket of fear and intimidation went to hell and I danced. And I ceased to feel too old, too unattractive, too short, too untrained. It was me, the director, and Lloyd Cole's "Past Imperfect." After my last series of leaps, I realized I had survived. I also realized I hadn't sucked. I felt calm, thinking I made it through my first attempt and I would go on to audition elsewhere with more confidence. Then he said, "I'm calling you back. Can you be here Saturday?" And I almost vomitted from shock.
This morning I got to read, do comedic voices, and talk about Indiana effin' Jones. All while we drank coffee and ate donuts. Can I say that a burlesque troupe that eats donuts is certainly one I can get on board with? And the other "Geeks" that joined us were friendly and beautiful. After an amazing two hours I heard the glorious words, "You are cast. Congrats on your first Chicago gig." And I skipped out of the theatre like an eleven year old girl and called my mother. I still have an obnoxious grin on my face.
I was so painfully quiet and shy up until I graduated high school, it sometimes seems strange that performance is what I would chose to do with my life. And after telling myself for many years that I was content to do it in my "spare time," I feel so amazingly fortunate to know now that it is no longer a hobby. I may not have a day job yet, but I'm in a $&^)! show y'all.