I feel so safe tonight.  Walking down Clark and I can not find a reason
to cling to my self and it seems so different.  I am not afraid for the
first time.  Everything is as it should be.  Individuals moving beside me,
acknowledging my presence and moving on.  And I feel specific here, and
encouraged.  The people say, "hello," the bartenders ask about me, the patrons
look at me differently, and inquire.

I was looking for quiet acceptance, an acceptance without definition
and I believe I got it.  There is no judgement here, only curiosity.  I can
eat dinner and drink alone without preconceived notions; I am not
something to be pitied.  I am just another patron with a story.  And
I am not the only one.  Back in Louisiana I could feel the eyes.  The
people thinking how alone I must feel.  But I never really felt alone.

I know full well how to function independently.  I'm a survivor of sorts,
and I'm beginning to lose that identity.  And that's okay here.  Nobody
sees that in my eyes, they only see the blue-grey confusion and watch my mouth.
They listen to me here, and I feel less vulnerable than I should.  The
streets are accepting of me and don't ask questions.  I pass through, not
unnoticed, but acknowledged.  Like they know who I am and create
the path before me.

I suppose back home I felt like that my persona was nothing more than a dream
that left ridged memories in a person's sequence of bad dreams.  Chicago makes me
new, unjudged, and nothing more than myself.  Anonymity creates a drive to be someone
more than I've ever been capable of being.  Vague, yes, I know.  But, tonight I had
dinner at the D.O.C. and met the bartender and the people sitting next to me.  And
I never felt lonely dining alone. 

And then I walked home.  Down a relatively busy street and felt more safe than
I've ever felt shuffling through Louisiana.  And that's not a negative to my homestate,
it's just a different perception I've been unaccustomed to experiencing.  When noone
knows you, they just take you to be unblemished, new, and worthy of investigation here
in Lincoln Park.  It's a surprising lesson I was surprised to have defined in such a large city.
All you can do is inquire about a person, preconceived notions are of no value.  We are
what we are.  Not pitiable creatures, rather striking characters moving throughout space
waiting for just the right inquiry.