Thursday, December 15, 2011

What I Learned Today

It's been a strange day. Riddled with hope, early Christmas presents, anticipation, realization, and tears - today has kicked my ass.

And here's what I learned today (it's been a long 24 hours y'all):

1. It sucks to be a jerk. Why some people make a regular practice out of it, I'll never understand. Sometimes we have to hurt those we care about in anticipation of a better eventual outcome. Because lying to yourself is just as bad as lying to someone else.

2. It sucks to be on the receiving end of a jerk. But after thinking about number one, I realized some people I thought were jerks - well, they most likely weren't. They were just pulling a number one. However, my list of actual jackasses is still intact.

3. Things will not always happen on my desired timeline. I'll admit that I lack patience. I worry, I stress, I crave instant answers to uncertainties. But waiting is not a reason to lose hope. I can either keep my chin up, or be swallowed by the doubt. And doubt and fear have nearly ruined me before; I refuse to go back.

4. I miss Guinness (the canine) really, really badly. Living alone is more challenging than I thought without him.

5. I have a father. It took me long enough to realize "father" is not a biological term. There's nothing like coming home after a rough day to a box full of Christmas presents waiting in the lobby of your apartment. A box full of theatre supplies and chocolate. And Tom Waits posters. My dad is the shit. The Shit.

6. Life is going to be a complete bastard sometimes. But it's a complete bastard to everyone at moments. It's a good thing I have no qualms about kicking a bastard in the trachea and walking away.

7. This Christmas is going to be difficult. I will be alone. But it's my favorite time of the year, so I'll put on my best sweater and go eat Chinese, watch a movie, and find an open bar. Then I will write about it. And it will be epic.

8. Never trust Google maps.

That last one isn't particularly meaningful, it's just fact.


  1. RE: #8. Google maps have it all over Mapquest. Trust me, Mapquest has gotten me horribly lost. Google maps, not so much.

    -- Chicago streetwize chick since a long time ago

  2. " I'll admit that I lack patience. I worry, I stress, I crave instant answers to uncertainties. " Or maybe that is drive, ambition. You cannot have drive, ambition, if you are 100% laid back. OK, if your ambition is to lay back 100% of the time...but otherwise, nah. And drive, reaching for your dreams, means tripping, falling, scraping your knee, breaking a leg, and not getting there on your time table. Doesn't mean you lack patience. That you kept your dream alive and now have gone after it is proof you've been very patient with that dream (even if it was on hold for awhile, still counts as patience IMHO as you didn't give up in the end).

    BTW, when are you going to set up an official Slightly Spitfire fan club?